Does anyone have any advise on having severe trust issues?

I am completely depressed. It's been over a year since I walked in on my boyfriend cheating on me. I was completely devastated and broke out into an uncontrollable rage. I beat him and destroyed his property. It took me a very long time but I seemed to get over it and have a good relationship with him. However, lately the betrayal is back and strong. I want to hurt him. I've had 2 recent explosions with him. I've hit him and again destroyed property. I feel out of control and devastated. I am so paranoid that I will be deceived again. I feel as though my reality has slipped away from me. I don't want to be on any anti depressants. I want to work through my anger, my feelings and be secure in myself. I've contemplated leaving my boyfriend but I thought that the same feelings would be there with or without him. I have never loved another as I love him. I harbor resentment with men in general. My father cheated on my mother and I saw her crack. I have seen men cheating on their significant others my entire life. I have made an appointment with a psychiatrist, I thought talking to a professional would be a good idea. Does anybody have any recommendations?